Tatum's Birthday (the birth story)

I know that not everyone is thrilled about reading birth stories. They are personal, very detailed, and usually pretty graphic. I'm, also, not under the assumption that everyone is interested in the details of someone else's child's birth. However, for those of you who are... here it goes...
On Monday, August 3rd 2009, I had my 39th week doctor's appointment. I was only 1 cm dilated, so we decided to schedule a day to be induced (Tatum was due on August 8). We decided that we would come in on Wednesday, August 12th for me to be induced. I was very disappointed because I was really ready for our baby to be here... I had to wait more than a week (I don't think any pregnant women ever wants to have their baby later than their due date)!!
The following morning (at around 7:30am), I woke up to my water breaking. We called Dr. Barr and she told me to take a shower, get packed (ha, like I wasn't packed yet! I was packed at around 34 weeks!), make phone calls, and drive to the hospital. On the way to the hospital, I started to feel some very faint contractions. I remember thinking, "Wow, these aren't bad. I can totally do this!". Little did I know that these were NOTHING compared to "real" contractions! We checked into the hospital at around 10am. Our room was awesome! It was a huge corner room with a big bathroom and windows everywhere.

Benjamin, then, ordered lunch.

 My lunch was a jolly rancher...mmm.

A few hours later (at around 3 or 4), the nurses came in and told me that the anesthesiologist was about to go into surgery.... I could either get an epidural then or after the surgery (hours later). I decided to get the epidural right away. I was only 4 cm, but the contractions were getting more painful. An hour later, I got my epidural. I couldn't believe the difference it made!
Around dinner time, the doctor decided to give me Pitocin (sp?) to move things along because I wasn't progressing. However, every time they gave me some, Tatum's heart rate would drop. They gave me oxygen to help.

As the evening progressed, I started to notice that the epidural was wearing off. They gave me more, but I didn't notice a difference, at all. At that time, as well, the weirdest thing happened. My left hand started to cramp up and hurt like crazy! For about an hour, I was in the most excruciating pain... not because of the contractions, but because of my hand! I was literally screaming. It was so weird! Benjamin was AMAZING during the whole time.... but specifically during this time. The birthing classes and books never prepared us to deal with a hurting hand during labor! Benjamin was so encouraging and helpful! I couldn't have done it without him.
My hand started to feel better, but the contractions were becoming unbearable for me. When I was around 9 cm, I asked the nurses and doctors if I could push (I was so done!). I pushed three times. The first two times, Tatum's heart rate dropped. The third time, it dropped and they couldn't get it to go back up. Dr. Barr decided it was time to "get her out". This next part was the scariest thing I have ever been through... it felt like hours, but it no more than a hour.
They wheeled me into the operating room and transferred me to the smallest table I had ever seen. I had to wait there (contractions and all) until with anesthesiologist came. One of the worst parts of this whole experience was being there without Benjamin. I did not picture going through this experience without him. Finally (again, it felt like hours later), the anesthesiologist came in and started to give me a spinal (I think that's what it's called). The first time, I felt a sharp, piercing pain down my right leg. He kept asking, "Are your legs numb, yet?" They definitely weren't. Finally, after the third try, my feet went numb, then my legs, then my arms, and everything else! Everything was so numb that I couldn't even swallow (or talk). I could only blink my eyes. I don't even know how to describe that feeling, except to say that I would NEVER want that to happen again! It was so scary.
Just seconds later, I heard a little cry. Dr. Barr announced, "It's a girl!" They brought our sweet baby to my side, however, I couldn't see her because I couldn't turn my head (and I didn't have my glasses on or contacts in). I just saw some pink. :) They brought her directly to Benjamin. Unfortunately, he wasn't allowed in the operating room because of everything that happened with the spinal. :(
They finished with me and prepared me to be wheeled into our room. When I approached the room, I saw the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.... my incredible husband, Benjamin, was sitting in a rocking chair holding our precious baby girl! He had the biggest smile on his face! When I finally got to hold our baby girl, Tatum Sophia, I feel in love, instantly. :)

This was one of the most amazing, awesome, scary, and incredible experiences of my whole life. I am so thankful for God's protection, grace, and peace. We have been so blessed by our precious girl, and we are so thankful!

Surprise!

So, I'm going to try and be very consistent with this whole blogging thing. I love reading other people's blogs, so maybe it will motivate me to continue....
We have exciting news....

Tatum's going to be a big sister! :) This has been such an answer to prayer, and God has been really working on my heart during this whole process.
At the end of January, Benjamin and I really felt that God was telling us that it was "time" to expand our family. It was a little scary for me. However, after a lot of prayer and talking, together as a couple, I was so excited. I am such a planner (ok, a controller), so I had everything all set.... I was ready to get pregnant right away (like what happened with Tatum). We would have a baby around Thanksgiving time (perfect time for family to visit, a little less than 2 1/2 years between children, I wouldn't have to be pregnant at Christmas, etc. Everything was perfect! Plus, a good friend of mine shared that she and her husband were on the track to becoming parents, again, as well! We would be pregnant together. What could be more perfect?!
After a few disappointing months, I started to become worried. My "plan" was not happening. My good friend because pregnant right away (which was so exciting!) I felt like every time I would log onto Facebook, I would find out that someone new was pregnant! I started to think something was wrong with me!
Meanwhile, I kept telling myself (and convincing myself that I believed it) that God was in control and that His plan was bigger than mine. It was easy for me to say, but (humbling to say) I didn't truly believe it. I kept thinking that I needed to do things differently, eat different foods, drink less coffee, track more dates and temperatures, exercise more, exercise less, etc. Talk about control issues! It was exhausting!
Finally, after 5 (I know that many people have tried for WAY longer, but it felt very long) months, I decided that it was truly time to give it all over to the Lord. I was no longer going to control. Thankfully, many close friends were praying and encouraging. I'm so thankful for them. God really transformed my heart. My mom said (in a nice way) that she was so happy to hear that I was finally giving up control... apparently I've had that issue for a while....??? :) God was just trying to get my attention, and I'm so glad that He is faithful in wanting to transform our hearts!
On July 29th (our 5th wedding anniversary), I decided to take a pregnancy test. Benjamin had purchased a bottle of wine for our anniversary, so we decided to make sure that it was ok for me to drink it. Benjamin was gone when I woke up in the morning (he had an early morning meeting), so I took the test before he got home. I had such low expectations (I had been so disappointed in the past... I got used to those negative tests). I had to check and double check probably 8 million times.... sure enough.... POSITIVE!! I had no idea what to do. I ran around the house opening all the curtains, emptied the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen, and who knows what else. I was so excited, and I had no one I could tell! When Tatum woke up, I put her in the "Big Sister" tee shirt in the picture, and waited for Benjamin to come home. Finally (ok, drama, it was probably only an hour later), he came home, noticed Tatum's tee shirt right away, and was in shock!! It was an awesome moment!! We thanked the Lord and shed some tears.
I'm so thankful to God for this process. His timing truly is perfect!