Tatum's Birthday (the birth story)

I know that not everyone is thrilled about reading birth stories. They are personal, very detailed, and usually pretty graphic. I'm, also, not under the assumption that everyone is interested in the details of someone else's child's birth. However, for those of you who are... here it goes...
On Monday, August 3rd 2009, I had my 39th week doctor's appointment. I was only 1 cm dilated, so we decided to schedule a day to be induced (Tatum was due on August 8). We decided that we would come in on Wednesday, August 12th for me to be induced. I was very disappointed because I was really ready for our baby to be here... I had to wait more than a week (I don't think any pregnant women ever wants to have their baby later than their due date)!!
The following morning (at around 7:30am), I woke up to my water breaking. We called Dr. Barr and she told me to take a shower, get packed (ha, like I wasn't packed yet! I was packed at around 34 weeks!), make phone calls, and drive to the hospital. On the way to the hospital, I started to feel some very faint contractions. I remember thinking, "Wow, these aren't bad. I can totally do this!". Little did I know that these were NOTHING compared to "real" contractions! We checked into the hospital at around 10am. Our room was awesome! It was a huge corner room with a big bathroom and windows everywhere.

Benjamin, then, ordered lunch.

 My lunch was a jolly rancher...mmm.

A few hours later (at around 3 or 4), the nurses came in and told me that the anesthesiologist was about to go into surgery.... I could either get an epidural then or after the surgery (hours later). I decided to get the epidural right away. I was only 4 cm, but the contractions were getting more painful. An hour later, I got my epidural. I couldn't believe the difference it made!
Around dinner time, the doctor decided to give me Pitocin (sp?) to move things along because I wasn't progressing. However, every time they gave me some, Tatum's heart rate would drop. They gave me oxygen to help.

As the evening progressed, I started to notice that the epidural was wearing off. They gave me more, but I didn't notice a difference, at all. At that time, as well, the weirdest thing happened. My left hand started to cramp up and hurt like crazy! For about an hour, I was in the most excruciating pain... not because of the contractions, but because of my hand! I was literally screaming. It was so weird! Benjamin was AMAZING during the whole time.... but specifically during this time. The birthing classes and books never prepared us to deal with a hurting hand during labor! Benjamin was so encouraging and helpful! I couldn't have done it without him.
My hand started to feel better, but the contractions were becoming unbearable for me. When I was around 9 cm, I asked the nurses and doctors if I could push (I was so done!). I pushed three times. The first two times, Tatum's heart rate dropped. The third time, it dropped and they couldn't get it to go back up. Dr. Barr decided it was time to "get her out". This next part was the scariest thing I have ever been through... it felt like hours, but it no more than a hour.
They wheeled me into the operating room and transferred me to the smallest table I had ever seen. I had to wait there (contractions and all) until with anesthesiologist came. One of the worst parts of this whole experience was being there without Benjamin. I did not picture going through this experience without him. Finally (again, it felt like hours later), the anesthesiologist came in and started to give me a spinal (I think that's what it's called). The first time, I felt a sharp, piercing pain down my right leg. He kept asking, "Are your legs numb, yet?" They definitely weren't. Finally, after the third try, my feet went numb, then my legs, then my arms, and everything else! Everything was so numb that I couldn't even swallow (or talk). I could only blink my eyes. I don't even know how to describe that feeling, except to say that I would NEVER want that to happen again! It was so scary.
Just seconds later, I heard a little cry. Dr. Barr announced, "It's a girl!" They brought our sweet baby to my side, however, I couldn't see her because I couldn't turn my head (and I didn't have my glasses on or contacts in). I just saw some pink. :) They brought her directly to Benjamin. Unfortunately, he wasn't allowed in the operating room because of everything that happened with the spinal. :(
They finished with me and prepared me to be wheeled into our room. When I approached the room, I saw the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.... my incredible husband, Benjamin, was sitting in a rocking chair holding our precious baby girl! He had the biggest smile on his face! When I finally got to hold our baby girl, Tatum Sophia, I feel in love, instantly. :)

This was one of the most amazing, awesome, scary, and incredible experiences of my whole life. I am so thankful for God's protection, grace, and peace. We have been so blessed by our precious girl, and we are so thankful!

Surprise!

So, I'm going to try and be very consistent with this whole blogging thing. I love reading other people's blogs, so maybe it will motivate me to continue....
We have exciting news....

Tatum's going to be a big sister! :) This has been such an answer to prayer, and God has been really working on my heart during this whole process.
At the end of January, Benjamin and I really felt that God was telling us that it was "time" to expand our family. It was a little scary for me. However, after a lot of prayer and talking, together as a couple, I was so excited. I am such a planner (ok, a controller), so I had everything all set.... I was ready to get pregnant right away (like what happened with Tatum). We would have a baby around Thanksgiving time (perfect time for family to visit, a little less than 2 1/2 years between children, I wouldn't have to be pregnant at Christmas, etc. Everything was perfect! Plus, a good friend of mine shared that she and her husband were on the track to becoming parents, again, as well! We would be pregnant together. What could be more perfect?!
After a few disappointing months, I started to become worried. My "plan" was not happening. My good friend because pregnant right away (which was so exciting!) I felt like every time I would log onto Facebook, I would find out that someone new was pregnant! I started to think something was wrong with me!
Meanwhile, I kept telling myself (and convincing myself that I believed it) that God was in control and that His plan was bigger than mine. It was easy for me to say, but (humbling to say) I didn't truly believe it. I kept thinking that I needed to do things differently, eat different foods, drink less coffee, track more dates and temperatures, exercise more, exercise less, etc. Talk about control issues! It was exhausting!
Finally, after 5 (I know that many people have tried for WAY longer, but it felt very long) months, I decided that it was truly time to give it all over to the Lord. I was no longer going to control. Thankfully, many close friends were praying and encouraging. I'm so thankful for them. God really transformed my heart. My mom said (in a nice way) that she was so happy to hear that I was finally giving up control... apparently I've had that issue for a while....??? :) God was just trying to get my attention, and I'm so glad that He is faithful in wanting to transform our hearts!
On July 29th (our 5th wedding anniversary), I decided to take a pregnancy test. Benjamin had purchased a bottle of wine for our anniversary, so we decided to make sure that it was ok for me to drink it. Benjamin was gone when I woke up in the morning (he had an early morning meeting), so I took the test before he got home. I had such low expectations (I had been so disappointed in the past... I got used to those negative tests). I had to check and double check probably 8 million times.... sure enough.... POSITIVE!! I had no idea what to do. I ran around the house opening all the curtains, emptied the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen, and who knows what else. I was so excited, and I had no one I could tell! When Tatum woke up, I put her in the "Big Sister" tee shirt in the picture, and waited for Benjamin to come home. Finally (ok, drama, it was probably only an hour later), he came home, noticed Tatum's tee shirt right away, and was in shock!! It was an awesome moment!! We thanked the Lord and shed some tears.
I'm so thankful to God for this process. His timing truly is perfect!

Updates!!

It has been such a long time since I've updated this thing. I feel like it's about time! We've been so busy with so many things... 

I'll maybe start with a few weekends ago. The last weekend of October, we took 22 students on a youth retreat called Breakaway, to Des Moines. It was a great retreat! I think the coolest part was that many of the students who went have just recently been attending our youth group... a ton of new faces! It was exciting getting to know many of the students, better. Also, my mom and cousin, Cindy, so generously came to take care of Tatum while we were gone. It was my first weekend away from Tatum (I know, it took almost 15 months!!), and it went really well... maybe TOO well! :) No, I'm kidding. But, actually, I really did appreciate how I was able to focus more on the students, while my mom and Cindy took care of T at home. I'm so blessed to have family willing to do that!

The following weekend was supposed to be "uneventful and normal". Tatum, Ida, her friend, and I were on the way to the mall in Davenport. T was being a little fussy, so I gave her a closed container with coins, inside, to shake and play with (obviously, thinking she couldn't open it). All of a sudden, I heard her coughing and choking. I turned around and saw that she had opened the container! I pulled over and took her out of the car seat. She kept crying, coughing, and vomiting (sorry, if TMI). Eventually, she calmed down. I put her back in the car seat and dropped of Ida and her friend at the mall. At that point, I wasn't sure if T even swallowed any coins. I know my sister used to swallow objects all the time (coins, paper clips, safety pins, etc.), and she ended up being fine, but I  just didn't know what to do. I decided to drive T to the hospital, just in case. Fortunately, we were in Davenport, so I was able to go to Trinity where she was born... it was easier to do paperwork, etc. As I pulled into the parking lot (thinking I was possibly over reacting), she started crying again, gagging and vomiting.
They did some x-rays, and discovered that she had a coin at the bottom of her throat! Because the coin was stuck, the doctor asked that I didn't give her anything to eat or drink, not let her lie on her back, not let her fall asleep, and to keep her from crying so that it wouldn't move and block her airways.....?!!! The poor nurses had to yell across the hospital to ask me questions. Every time someone would approach us, T would burst into tears... the poor girl! I know that she was scared, hungry and thirsty (she hadn't had anything to eat or drink in a few hours). When they told me that T had to be put under for them to retrieve the coin, I called Benjamin to have him come meet me at the hospital (I'm not going to lie, I was freaking out a little). He was hunting for his first time and had to leave early. :(
We spent a while waiting for the specialists. I had to carry her, and not sit down. If I sat down, she would fall asleep. Finally (the whole process took a few hours, but felt like FOREVER), they were able to put her to sleep and take those pennies (yes, pennIES) out. There were two pennies, stuck together, in her throat. Afterward, she was SO happy and cute. She did so well! It was a very dramatic day, but God protected our little Tatum. It could have been so much worse, and we're so thankful for God's provision and strength!

Last weekend, Benjamin and I were able to go to FamilyLife's "A Weekend to Remember" in Cedar Rapids. A couple from our church blessed us with the finances to go, and my parents so generously stayed with Tatum. The whole weekend was fantastic! It was our first weekend, just the two of us, that we've had since T has been born! We definitely needed it! :) I think the most valuable part for us, was just having time focused on each other. The conference, itself, was great too. It created intentional time and space for Benj and I to have great discussions. I, also, loved just "showing up" to things and not have to plan or prepare anything! I would encourage every couple to attend at least one of these weekends in their lifetime. I'm just so thankful that we were able to go at this stage in our marriage. We have only been married for four years, so we don't have the "baggage" that I know some couples have to work through. We are very, very blessed.

 

Ok, so this wasn't taken on that weekend, but it's our most recent photo.

The Best Job in the World!

I love it when middle schoolers or high schoolers ask, "What do you do all day?". They can't imagine what a "stay-at-home mom" could possibly do to keep herself busy all day. "Do you just play with Tatum?" They think "it's the life". And, honestly, it is! I LOVE being a stay at home mom! I keep myself busy with cleaning (no, my house hasn't learned how to clean itself, yet), laundry, hanging and folding diapers, making lunch, cooking dinner, filling out paper work, going on walks, playing with Tatum, play dates, phone calls, grocery shopping, etc. I love making my house a home.
I definitely feel like I have "the best of both worlds", as well. Recently, I started working, a few nights a week, at a restaurant. The hours are perfect. I usually leave after dinner, and get home no later than 9:30. I only miss a few hours with T (which has made perfect "Papa/Tatum" time), plus I get to spend the evenings with my husband. (The extra cash is a bonus, as well!) It is the perfect combination for me (and our family!).
I love being a stay at home mom, and I wouldn't trade it for anything!

<The best employer, ever! :)

Cloth diaper "shout out"!

When I was pregnant with T, I did a ton of research on cloth diapering. I decided that I would wait until after T was born to actually go through with it, though. I didn't know how many or which sizes I would need. Plus, I wanted to get the whole "new mommy" thing under my belt before I introduced something new. I knew that the last thing I would want to be doing with a newborn was laundry! I am glad that I waited, But now that I'm doing it, I love cloth diapering! :)

What first caught my attention with cloth diapering was how much money I would be saving in the long run. (B was on board with that, as well!) I, also, hated buying diapers and throwing them away just days later! What a waste (literally).

I was overwhelmed, at first, when I first started doing research. The only experience I had with cloth diapering was when I nannied in Chicago. I would just throw the diapers in a big trash can, and they would "magically" disappear and reappear (all clean) 2x a week! (Ok, a cloth diapering company would pick them up and wash them). I knew that wouldn't be an option for us, though. There were so many options... dry pail, wet pail, diaper sprayers, to bleach or not to bleach, all in ones, all in twos, pockets, wool, snaps, velcro, one size, prefolds, bamboo, organic, etc. That doesn't even include the different brands! Once I determined that I wanted to stick with one size cloth diapers, I started to read reviews.

In my research, the most reviewed and best reviewed for what I wanted seemed to be the BumGenius 3.0s. I found a great website which offered a "30 day trial period". Basically, if I decided that cloth diapering wasn't for me, I would be able to return them all for a full refund! I ordered 8 diapers @ roughly 17.95/each. With 8, I have to wash everyday, but that works for me as a stay at home mom.

In the mean time, I am a "test mom" for a new cloth diapering company coming out called RagaBabe. T and I have tested the AIO (all-in-ones) and the Organic 2-Step (AI2). The AIOs are SO easy. There is no stuffing or snapping of inserts. You literally just wash, dry and wear (Well, T does the wearing, of course!)
One of the problems I've encountered with BG is that at 23lbs, T has almost already outgrown their "one-size". Hmmm.... What I've LOVED about the RagaBabe Organic 2-Step is that they come in adjustable sizes. For example, because T is a little on the chunkier/heavier size, I've used a size 2 for her, and that size will definitely last her until she's potty trained. Woo hoo! Also, you can purchase separate inserts for the Organic 2-Step, so you can basically get 3 diapers for under $50! (You can reuse the cover a few times without washing!) These diapers are also supposed to last through two children! I, obviously, haven't experienced that. However, the quality of these far surpass the quality of BG, in my opinion. (My BGs are already showing some major wear and tear.)
 
There are, obviously, many benefits of cloth diapering. It's definitely an investment up front, but in the long run, it's totally worth it! Plus, look how happy your baby could be...
 

A Tribute to My Twenties

As I look back on my life (yes, I am now approaching my late twenties at age 26), my twenties have definitely been my favorite decade. Ida (our new foreign exchange student from Norway) and I took a little tour through Maquoketa High School earlier this week. As I was walking through each hallway, to each class room, I had NO desire to be back in high school. Yeah, it was fun knowing that you would see your friends everyday and not having a ton of responsibilities, but I would never choose to go back. For those who told me, "Your high school years are the best years of your life", I'm glad your high school experience was awesome (and I'm sorry that the rest of your later years were not). However, my years in high school were not "the best years", and for that, I am thankful! So far, I've LOVED my twenties. Some of the highlights...

• getting married to my best friend
• having one amazing daughter
• buying our own home
• going to college (I wish I appreciated that more, at the time)
• living in Chicago
• living in Iowa (that took a lot for me to type!)
• hosting a foreign exchange student (now that B and I are a combined age of 50, haha)
• and many more!!

 

I am so thankful to God for all the ways He has blessed me! I'm going to make a conscience effort to not fear getting older, but embrace it. Despite what our culture says, it is a blessing from the Lord, and it's not up to me to prevent it from happening....